Interbeing, the Erotic, and Creating Social Change

There is an imminent and indispensable shift happening (again and again … and again) - a global struggle for justice, peace, and equality feels unshakably present. As humans we all seek to be seen, heard, and believed. Social change has become the epicenter of our polarized world. Why do we find ourselves fighting this perpetual fight? Why are some of us so disconnected from our humaneness? When will peace hold precedence over power ?

Transformation in any capacity has to start from within ourselves. There is no concrete map of this journey - no magical number of self-help books that will lead us to our destination - but there is an abundance of knowledge we can utilize as a power to find the most authentic parts of our being. This knowledge can help shed our fear of the unknown, accept our vulnerabilities, and understand the vital role we play in this world so we may lead a more compassionate life. 

Our journey can begin with recognizing what it means to exist as a human on this earth. This may sound like a pretty loaded thought, but a term coined by Buddhist Zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh, lays it out as plain as day. Interbeing is the idea that we as humans exist interdependently. T.N.H refers to biologist, Lewis Thomas, and his depiction of our coexistence; “He describes how our human bodies are “shared, rented, and occupied” by countless other tiny organisms, without whom we couldn’t ‘move a muscle, drum a finger, or think a thought.’ …Without them, we could not be here in this moment. Without them, we wouldn’t be able to think, to feel, or to speak. There are, he says, no solitary beings. The whole planet is one giant, living, breathing cell, with all its working parts linked in symbiosis.” (source) If we consider this, then being interconnected means that what happens to one of us can affect all of us; one ill person can change the state of every individual in the entire world and the violent injustice done to black communities should be seen and felt as an injustice to all of our people. We can rationalize wrongdoing from one human to the next, but how does this “life-for-a-life mentality” end? This insensitive frame of mind creates a cycle of trauma and anger that are the roots of our current socio-political climate.

Although this notion of our coexistence may seem enlightening or obvious, we are notorious for our polarizing views and our responses to them. We should not respond with anger or fear to what is unfamiliar. How do we dismantle the mentality that our perspectives of each other are determined by our similarities and differences? We can start shifting our mental process by pursuing our journey inward and acknowledging the power of the erotic. The erotic refers to a force that is deeply rooted in our strongest sense of self and deepest desires; a sensation we can only access by confronting our most vulnerable parts. In her book of essays, Sister Outsider, Audre Lorde explains the erotic as a guiding tool. This power can help understand our own human needs and to detach from the external and conventional necessities (i.e. marriage, money, materials, status, religion, physicality) we are taught to believe will grant us our identities. Accessing this erotic knowledge is to disrupt our oppressed feelings and evaluate all aspects of our existence. What & who are we settling for? What are we ignoring? What are we afraid of? And why? Asking ourselves these questions can begin to combat the stifling upbringing that most of us experience in today's ruthless, fast paced, and shallow society. Audre articulates that, “recognizing the power of the erotic within our lives can give us the energy to pursue genuine change in our world, rather than merely settling for a shift of characters in the same weary drama.” 

This “intuitive” knowledge presents an energy that can heighten all of our shared physical, emotional, and intellectual experiences. These shared experiences can form a foundation for human connection and understanding, minimizing the threat of our differences and shaping our Interbeing. The capacity of what we can feel, experience, and how we experience them is immeasurable.

If we want to create social change but we are unsure where to begin, we have to remember to dig deep within ourselves. We have to be willing to get uncomfortable and vulnerable in order to explore what we know to be true. We have to expect and accept more from ourselves and the lives we are leading. We have to slow down and look at what elements we believe define us. We have to be willing to expose ourselves; build a bridge with not only what reflects in each of us but with what is unfamiliar as well. We have to see each other through the same lens. We each hold the responsibility for each other’s well being. Our awareness of the impact we have on each other is the ability to recognize the necessity of compassion. As humans it is our responsibility to put an end to cyclical trauma and protect human life, to cherish others as we ourselves wish to be cherished.  We are our history and we have the power to change it.

Share truth + love,

Lailani

“Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word "love" here not merely in the personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace - not in the infantile American sense of being made happy but in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth.”
― James Baldwin, The Fire Next Time